Scene ii
Fade in, Katy Carter’s house.
Late afternoon, Dinner Table
(Katy and Alfred setting the table for dinner)
Katy: Did you say James would be coming?
Alfred: He was supposed to be coming in tonight.
Katy: Where could he be?
Alfred: I don’t know?
(Gale walks into the kitchen)
Gale: Did you say he isn’t here?!
Alfred: Yes Gale, I told him to come but he has not shown up.
Gale: Ugh, James. Why must he be so difficult?
Katy: Oh, come now, he is probably working on an exciting work development.
(Alfred snorts as he tries to keep in laughter, Gale swats him)
Gale: He better be doing that, I am going to call him. (Pulls out her phone and calls him).
Alfred: I told him to come and I knew, I knew, he would not come. He is just stuck in his own world.
Katy: And that is what makes him so special.
Gale: He didn’t answer. Where could he be?
(there is a brisk knock on the door, and then James enters)
James: Hello! Mother I’m sorry i’m late (kisses Katy on Cheek). And Gale, must you call me at such a late hour? (holding up phone which reads: 2 missed calls).
Alfred: Where have you been? You told me that you were coming.
James: Well Fred. I was walking to town and I saw this really really nice suit. It looked so You, so I thought I might buy it for you.
Alfred: What?
James: Yeah, it is totally your color too.
Alfred: Really?
James: No! I’m rich, not generous.
Alfred: Hardy har har, now set the table.
(James turns to catch Gale’s eye. James jumps at her glare. She walks with James to get more plates and silverware)
Gale: That wasn’t very nice.
James: Alfred isn’t all that nice to me.
Gale: He has helped you a lot you know.
James: Of course I know.
Gale: They why don’t you help him out.
James: (looking at her) Gale, Fred has enough money to buy his own suits.
Gale: Hey, it’s the thought that counts and it’s not just that. You make these frivolous decisions despite what he tells you. He has gone halfway across the world for you and handles all your finances. The least you could do is be nice and get him a gift.
James: Fine, I’ll buy him some shiney blue cufflinks or something.
Gale: See, that would be fine. But you better think of something quick.
James: Why?
Gale: James! (Whispering), It is his birthday today.
(James, shocked, peaks his head into the kitchen looking at Alfred, he notices the birthday decorations.)
James: So that would be what the “happy birthday” sign is for.
Gale: Duh!
James: I’ll send him a late card.
Gale: James! He is one of you most loyal ,and might I remind you, ONLY friend. You owe him.
James: (Bites his lips in contemplation) I got it! I will have it to him tomorrow.
Gale: What is it?
James: Can’t Tell.
Gale: James.
James: Did you say you needed your house painted?
Gale: Well….
James: I will take care of it.
Gale: Really?
James: Yep.
James: Yep.
Gale: Well then, lets set the table.
(The Family sets the table and sits, Katy starts to say grace.)
Katy: Dear Lord, thank you so much for our family. We are so glad to be here, and celebrate Alfred. I don’t know where my little girl would be without him. (Gale looks up, eyebrow raised), and Lord, thank you so much for James, and his job, please bless him to quit being so self absorbed, (James smiles and nods, while Alfred and Gale look at eachother), and please bless us that we may enjoy this food so graciously prepared for Alfred's birthday, may he remember that life is a gift that can be taken away, (Alfred looks perturbed), and lastly, please help James to find a woman. A woman who will take care of him because he cannot take care of himself. (James perks up and is genuinely annoyed, Gale smiles). We thank you Lord, Amen.
(Awkward Silence as James and his Family eat Dinner.)
Alfred: So, Jim. Why were you so late.
James: It is interesting that you should ask that Alfred. I made a breakthrough.
Alfred: Oh and what is that?
James: Well I met this girl……
Katy and Gale: WHAT?!
James: (Taken Back), Yes, so I met this girl and……..
Gale: What was her name?
James: Her name was Claire, now if you would let me fin. . . . .
Katy: Was she cute?
James: A little, but that is not the point.
Katy: Jimmy, yes that is the point.
James: Mom! Let me finish.
Katy: Alright.
James: So, I met her and she was just sitting there, looking at the Temeraire and she was thinking about the art and the story and the meaning of it. And getting lost into it. So I tried that after she left. To every painting in the Museum.
Alfred: Every Painting?!
James: Yep. And it was really really hard. This girl really got it, she could see the meaning behind the paintings and the story. She was a true romantic.
Gale: And…..
James: I think I may hire her for tours.
Gale: James!
Katy: James!
Alfred:.....James!
James: What?!
Gale: Why did you not…….
James: Not what?
Katy: Ask her out on a date!
James: Woah, woah, woah, woah. First off, I just met her! Second off, I hate dates. Anyways, I figure she has something to offer to the museum.
Alfred: Jim, why?
James: This way I can focus more on business instead of tour guides.
Alfred: Jim, you never do business, and you insisted that you be the only tour guide in the museum, you fired all the old ones.
James: Hey! I do business, I am meeting with an artist from Utah tomorrow to discuss a painting. and it’s time we get new tour guides.
Alfred: Utah? Nothing cool comes from Utah!
James: Hey, Utah is a way cool place, it’s full of……..of……….good paintings.
Alfred: You can’t hire her, is she qualified? Does she have a degree? Do you even have a Degree?
James: Yes, Alfred, I have a degree in Art History……
Gale: Barely
James: But still, I could try.
Alfred: No you can’t, get someone qualified, not some girl who inspired you.
Gale: and, you could have asked this girl out.
James: Hold it, let me be realistic here, I just met her, I hardly know her, how many times do I have to tell you that?
Katy: You need to put aside your hatred for dating and do it ,child.
Alfred: Why do you hate dates so much Jim?
Gale: Well, it’s because……
James: Gale, I don’t want to talk about it.
Gale: Why not?
James: Ugh, fine I will tell it. After college I started to date around a little bit. So I asked this cute brunette out. she was also an art intern. So I thought, how about we go to dinner and then go to the Museum, this was before I owned it obviously. We get to dinner and she just, talked and talked, about random things, things that did not even pertain to this and she kept talking about her hair, everything went back to her hair. Granted it was great hair, but not like she was making it out to be. I barely got a few words in. We got to the art museum and she was still talking about herself. So I thought I might grin and bare it, and just look at the art. But it just so happens that there is a man there, an artist. And this girl, she wants to be a model I guess, so she just starts showing off and putting on a show for this man, and he naturally sees her and wants her. So he offers her a deal, and she leaves me and takes it. She is now on the cover of Time magazine.
Alfred: Really?
Gale: Tell him about the next one.
James: Well, so I find this other girl, super cute, and I ask her on a date. We go to central park, and eat some pizza. What I didn’t know is this girl came with a lot of baggage. So, I don’t know if it was central park or me or whatever but she pretty much cried over the duration of the date. Just bawling, hardly talking. I didn’t know what to do. She said she was fine when I asked her, so that was that.
Alfred: You can’t do that, she was just having a bad day.
James: That is what I thought, so I asked her out again. This time I thought I would keep it low key, we would go to the docks, walk on the pier and have fun, but still, she just kept bawling, so I was done with this girl. Obviously she was going to have to find someone else as lonely as her.
Alfred: That is a little weird.
James: Yes, then there was this other one.
Gale: Oh dear……
James: So Gale asks Brian, you know, Brian from high school on a date and tells me to double with them. So I just ask this other girl, I think her name was Kathy. . .anyways, we go to dinner here at the house and we plan to watch a movie. Everything was great until the movie. Then Gale…….
Gale: Jim, no….
James: Gale starts to…..
Gale: NO!
Alfred: Let him continue.
James: She starts just making out with Brian on the couch, (Gale Shies away, Katy smiles and Alfred looks disgruntled). So this just made Kathy want to do the same, and I mean this was the first date and that was awkward because she would just move really close, and I would move farther away until I was just sitting on the floor and she had given up. We didn’t even choose a good enough movie.
(Awkward silence as Alfred and Gale stare at eachother)
Katy: Well, should we have dessert.
James: (Smiling splendidly) I’ll go for dessert.
(James and Katy stand to go get dessert, Alfred and Gale stay seated.)
Gale: Yeah...sorry about that.
Alfred: Oh, that’s fine. We are married now. (Starts to stand up)
James: (From the other room) Dude, that was last week!
James: (From the other room) Dude, that was last week!
(Alfred jolts looking at Gale furiously)
James: Kidding!
Alfred: I swear……..
fade out
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